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Weekend gift - Day one at Oak Meadow Ranch

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 My boss gifted me a weekend with T and a friend.  Well it's been hard, everyone is busy.  So I split it into two things... day one.. Oak Meadow Ranch with just me and T because I just couldn't ask Balfour to pay for another person... it's pricey!! Everyone was introduced again, beautiful music was played... we went to church service outside and while it was chilly.. it was the best service ever - surrounded by animals and animal sounds the whole time! Jesse even attended! T looooved Jesse! Then before our tour, we ran into the Liu's who came and stayed the night before. I was SO thankful that Michele and Lauren chose to do this!! We had cotton candy drinks... SO FUN!  T MAY have had two.. bad parenting, I know. And they came out and sang to him for his bday -it was hilarious!   I think this is going well... First up Baby Yoda!! Prince Harry was next! Prince Charles and his baby! WE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LEMURS!! Zeus came out to greet T and of course... Jesse T...
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Goodbye to Uncle Johnny

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A 6am call is never "normal" and I knew something was wrong. My poor mama had to call and tell me that her brother, the patriarch of our family... my Uncle John was dying. Brain bleed. 911. Ambulance. Hospital. Aunt Jeanne. Can't go visit. Covid. Ventilator. I heard all of those words. None of them were sinking in. Too surreal. He was fine. Too heartbreaking, my Aunt just lost her sister TOO OVERWHELMING. I CAN'T GO BE WITH MY FAMILY. Then the call came that he was off of life support, and he died. My Uncle John, big burly Uncle Johnny... was gone. My Aunt Jeanne posted on Facebook. So I posted... then Auntie T... And then mom posted... and our hearts broke.  Just broke.   Every time we talk  - we just can't make sense of it. I know in time.. it will sink in.  He will not be there at the airport when I get home next trip. He won't be at Christmas or at the table eating sauce.  He's gone. BUT I WILL REMEMBER. I will tell the stories and I will keep him ali...
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Day 7 and 8

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Well, the first two pics are from a very hard Day 7 I sat here... and bawled.  Tristan and I had choice words about his eating. Well, not eating.  His snacking.  It didn't go well.  I'll leave it at that.  I sat here.  Bawling.  Crying out to God to save us. To heal our land.  I told Him all of the things I CANNOT do.  Well not in my own strength.  I told Him all of the places I NEED to move out of.  All of the insecurities I have. All the things I have fought SO hard for that I'm fearful He is asking me to just forget about. I'm scared of His "NO". I'm scared that I'm being corrected or chastised for all of the decisions I've made until now. That I've just messed it all up.  But then, I remember that I'm just not that powerful. God has shown up for me in so many ways, so many times, and I can't forget that. I can't be like all of God's people who wandered in the desert 40 years... and then in their freedom, they w...
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