13 ends with a war zone and the PO PO

Well, I woke up to this.  House trashed. 3 teenagers fast asleep. All I could do was smile.  They were happy, I was happy and he brought 14 in exactly the way he wanted to!





guns and ammo everywhere... 


pellets, food, soda, candy - ALL OVER THE PLACE...


They ran outside at 8:30pm like this... and they waged war against each other.


I warned my neighbors and had a few funny texts about them creeping around out front (they started out back and I had no idea they went out there)


And then someone called the police.  The car pulled up and they dropped their guns and told him they were playing airsoft.  He laughed and just told them to get rid of their flashlights and to have fun.

They did for a few minutes but got freaked out and came in.  Then back on x-box.  Oh well, I tried.  Sad the state of our world but people are crazy and I can see how that photo doesn't quite depict my sweet, baby boy. hahahahahaha


14 years.  How has this gone so quickly.  



There have been some very, very hard and some very, very long days... and I don't regret one of them.  Not one thing I had to give up to be "there", not one trip I missed because I needed to spend the money on him.  Not one fight I had with friends or family because I KNEW the educational path I had him on was the right one.  I don't regret one time of passing on a GNO because I needed to be there to help study, or bathe or simple soothe his hurting soul. I regret NOTHING when it comes to lack for me and gain for you.  Do I wish I was still married?  1,000% it is NEVER what I wanted.  Do I wish I never missed church, never said a naughty word, played Legos more, and played that "one more game of cheetah?" you bet your bottom I do. But I tried to say yes every time that I could.  Even on the days my body was weary, my heart was broke, my eyes were burning they were so tired... you wanted one more story and I did my best to give it to you.  Those moments were the moments that bonded us together. I know for a fact you will never, ever be able to say "I wonder if my mom loved me" - I've lived my life showing you and telling you that I do.

You've had a thousand texts, calls, videos, cards and gifts all telling you how loved you are. And you are.  But I can promise you that there is not, nor will there every be anyone that will give their life trying to move mountains for you the way I will.  I'm thankful that the Lord chose me to be your mom. I only have a few short years left of you here, under my roof and I pray as I let you have more freedom (God help me with no bedtime on the weekends).. that you grow and that you are wise.  Wise with your words, with your friends, with your emotions, with your heart, with your hands. All of it.  All I can hope for is that you take that extra minute to think through the choice you are about to make, whatever it is.  I pray you learn to love the Lord and rely on Him in all things.  And I pray, when you need me, you always call, that I'm always able to answer and that undeniably whether I walk this earth or not, your mama is always, always looking out for you.  I love you Tristan. Cheers to 14 being fantastic!  I can't wait to see what He does!

Happy 13 and 364 days old.  I love you!  Mom

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