Nothing makes sense

 Friday I dropped T at school and was headed back to my house to work from home.  My woworker, and friend called to ask me if I had seen Facebook. She didn't know what happened but Jennifer and Mattie Prescott were gone.

WHAT? Shock. Disbelief? I'm googling, frantically looking at Facebook. Reading comments. Did Randy kill them?  Was there an accident on the way to volleyball? Did they get robbed WHAT?

Never in my worst nightmares.. EVER... could I have imagined what I would find out in the coming hours.

Jennifer set her house on fire, then shot and killed Mattie... and then herself.

UTTER DEVESTATION. TOTAL DISBELIEF. I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm SO CONFUSED. I'm full of regret.  And then those feelings just circulate.  That was Friday. Today is Sunday. It's crushing.  

Mattie was 15. I don't have recent pictures.  They live 45+ minutes from me.  So Jen and I texted a lot lately and not as much as I should have. Not as much as we could have.  Both had busy lives. 

I navigated a divorce and she was about to do the same.

That's Bumpa on the left, Randy's dad.  He has stage 4 cancer, he will probably be leaving this earth soon. I pray he doesn't know what is happening.

Randy will be the only one left in this photo... and I just CANNOT. It's too much.

Were we the best of friends? Nope.  Were we great friends. YUP.  Did we talk daily? Nope. When we talked was it real, and raw and honest, and full of laughs and sadness?  Yup.

Jen worked with me at Balfour.  I watched as she struggled to have a baby and then FINALLY... Mattie. We walked and talked A LOT. We pushed each other back to our husbands on the darkest of days and we both wanted to quit.  We said the hard things to each other. We prayed together. We challenged each other, We encouraged each other.

So if all of that is true.  Why are they here no more?

This is what all of the headlines read...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shooting deaths of 15-year-old Arlington girl and her mother ruled murder-suicide 

 Mattie Prescott played for 360 Warriors Volleyball, a homeschool volleyball club, according to a Facebook post by the team. Police believe that Mattie, 15, was shot and killed by her mother, Jennifer Prescott, who then killed herself Thursday, Nov. 10, 2022 at their Arlington home. 

360 WARRIORS VOLLEYBALL Facebook 

The Tarrant County Medical Examiner’s Office has ruled that the Thursday shooting deaths of an Arlington teenager and her mother were a murder-suicide. Investigators believe the mother killed her daughter and herself. On Friday, the medical examiner’s office identified 15-year-old Mattie Kay Prescott as the victim of a homicide and said she died from a gunshot wound to the head. On Saturday, the medical examiner’s office identified the mother, 51-year-old Jennifer Lee Prescott, and said she died by suicide of a gunshot wound to the head. 

Arlington police confirmed on Saturday that Jennifer Prescott was Mattie Prescott’s mother and that they are investigating the shooting as a murder-suicide. Arlington police said officers responded to a call about a possible suicidal person at the Prescotts’ home just before 5:30 p.m. Thursday in the 600 block of East Lynn Creek Drive. 

Minutes after the call, a fire erupted at the home and Arlington firefighters responded to the scene, extinguishing the blaze. Firefighters entered the home and found a girl with an apparent gunshot wound. The girl, who was later identified as Mattie Prescott, was taken to a nearby hospital, where she was pronounced dead in the emergency room just before 6:30 p.m. As a search continued in the home, crews found Jennifer Prescott, who was pronounced dead at the scene about 5:30 p.m. 

Layla Z., who did want to give her last name, lives next door and was told to vacate her house for a while because of the smoke. She said Friday that she is in shock and the situation is really hard for the neighborhood. She said Mattie lived in the house with her mother and that they were both beautiful people. Mattie had recently won a volleyball tournament, and Jennifer was active in the community and seemed like a good mother, the neighbor said. Layla, who said she knew the family well, added that Jennifer Prescott was a “kind, sweet person” but had recently been struggling with depression. 

Tatum Krueger, Mattie’s small group leader at TCAL Church in Mansfield, described the 15-year-old as “mature beyond her years” with a bright future ahead. During Wednesday night youth services, Krueger and the other leaders would send Mattie to talk to the new kids and make them feel welcome. Krueger said Mattie could converse with anyone, and in all of her conversations “she just never failed to show Jesus.” According to Krueger, Mattie dreamed of playing college volleyball and was supposed to play in another tournament soon. 

Mattie Prescott, 15, was fatally shot by her mother in their home, in the 600 block of East Lynn Creek Drive in Arlington, on Thursday, Nov. 10, 2022, authorities said. Her mother, Jennifer Prescott, was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in the house, where a fire was burning when police arrived.

Mattie played for 360 Warriors Volleyball, a homeschool volleyball club, according to a Facebook post by the team. “The 360 Warriors extend our most sincere prayers to all of the friends, team mates, parents, and family who have been impacted during this very heartbreaking time,” the post reads. “For those in need, we have counselors available to help you process these events & if you are struggling with mental illness please reach out to us. We’re here.” If you or a loved one are experiencing a crisis, call 988, the new, three-digit shortcut that will direct callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

What the hell Jennifer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why didn't you tell me. Tell the 9 you sent your suicide email to?

Tell the church?

When did it all become too much?

When did taking Mattie's life, and your own... become the ONLY way? WHEN?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm struggling to make sense of this and it's going to take me a LONG time. For now. I focus on good days. The days we DID make the drive

The times I would say "ugh... cover my arm fat in this picture"... and you did with a giggle...

The trips and fun events we took our littles to...

I am angry, but I FORGIVE YOU. (this will have to take a few times I'm sure)

I'm sad, but I rejoice in times we've spent crafting, playing and loving on our babies.

I'm confused, but fully understand that you HAD TO GET INTO THE ARMS OF JESUS as fast as you could.

I'm broken, but you were in hell in y our mind.  I know it's not about me and I find peace that some day I WILL see both of you again.

I don't have recent in person memories but I am SO thankful for the recent text and calls.  I am SO thankful that we made THAT time.

I'm sorry for your pain on this earth and I am just so broken that you stole Mattie's future.  But your love for her was so great.. that in your weakest, sickest moment... your fear won out.

You couldn't do it anymore and no one... NO ONE would be acceptable to care for Mattie.

And that is sick and twisted because we are no one's Savior.. and you know that...

I'm betting when you killed her, you hit your knees and repented and then took your own life.

This world shines darker Jen.  I wish you would have shared just one time the depth of your depravity.  We couldn't have saved you, not our job... but there are enough of us... we would have tried.

Fly high Mattie... this isn't forever.  See you "soon" baby girl, I pray you are at peace in heaven and running around, making everyone laugh and doing some of this.  Satan had the last word on earth but your eternity is secure.