Bittersweet trip to help my Mama

 

Not really sure how to blog this. Not ready.

We went to KY for Thanksgiving.  It was quiet... T was sick... it was sad.

We relived a few moments like these... old pic of me and my Gram when I was roping her out of the kitchen and playing her in Spite and Malice.

Just found out a friend here plays with her kids so she is going to re-teach me!

I miss you Gram, and I wish you were here to comfort my mom.


Dementia is stealing her. And I'm mad.


She still smiles and is full of joy.  I was worried and overwhelmed and grumpy and sad.

And I can't voice that to her. We searched and found her a place to move into.  Daisy Hill  Senior Living.  It's beautiful and she will be spoiled and well cared for AND only a mile from Kelly so she can see her anytime she wants.

I'm sad I'm a plane ride away. Thank God for Facetime.

Thank God for good photos and friends that you can smile into the camera for and mean it.


Don is in rehab and Tracy is facing dementia and permanent care for Don if he doesn't get better.

She's handling this better than I am. *SIGH*


I don't have the words right now. I know once I start typing the tears are going to come BIG TIME and I can't do that.  Not today. I have big emotions around a broken heater, broken car and now a dead washing machine so I'm already overwhelmed and annoyed and scared. I don't want these VALID emotions to be anywhere near being involved with the petty emotions above.

But let's just say. I'm heartborken.
I'm losing my mother.
I'm losing my son.

Both of those things are normal and part of life. But I'm not ok.

Somehow, I will be.  And somehow I will come to terms with all of it.

But for today, I grieve.

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